First of all, the man gets to have all these women to himself, but heaven forbid we find out that any of the women have feelings for another man. What kind of double standard is that?
|Ben and Courtney|
|Ben and Nicki|
|Ben and Lindzi|
What struck me most, though, by the recent episode, was the fact that Ben (the Bachelor) went on three dates with the three final women and gave each of them the option of an "overnight date," where they spend the night in a beautiful fantasy sweet. When he hands them the card with the overnight invitation, each of the women gets a very distinct expression on their faces. It's a mixture of surprise, offense, pleasant anticipation, and frustration. Should these women accept, they tend to preface with a "Normally, I don't spend the night with just anyone..." or a nervous laugh and shifting eyes or the avoidance of answering the question directly at all. It's clear that the women don't want to look too forward by accepting. But they do accept in the end. The scene ends with lots of kissing in the "fantasy suite", and Ben politely, but firmly closing the door on the camera.
As silly as this show is, I think those moments are illustrative of the time we live in. We're in a strange transition period. I would say that today, it's accepted that a woman would want to spend the night alone with a man. It's generally accepted that she has the right to choose that, and that's fine. However, we haven't crossed over completely. Like I said, we're in the middle of a transition. A woman can spend the night with a man, so long as she still attempts to look demure and puts up a little bit of a protest. So long as she doesn't give up that "femininity" too quickly. It's fine for the man to request the night together. Ben shows no qualms in giving the women these cards. He has nothing to be ashamed of. But it is apparent that these women are not in the same fortunate position.
We're moving to a point of recognition that men and women should be able to express the desire for sexual contact with others without negative judgment and stigma. But we aren't quite there yet. I think that's a good realization to come to, I just think it's really sad and pathetic that I had to watch the Bachelor to come to it. Ugh...